I'm not going to tell you that what you believe, or feel is wrong, you don't need me to tell you that, or anyone else, because you feel that you are right and you have tried to think otherwise, you've attempted to turn things around, but like you say, even when things are going right, you still feel depressed. But that is depression, it makes you think that, but it isn't necessarily true, and I know that...because I have changed my thinking many a time, and I have seen the good times, yes, sometimes depression creeps back, it lingers and it makes us feel weak and useless but we know deep down, we are not, we are strong, we are united, we all have something that drags us down but it is us, ultimately that can change that and YOU can change it, if you want to, you can, you have a heart, a soul, a life, that is ready to commit to you, so commit to it, take it in your hands and love it, live it, breathe the air and see the light behind the darkness, because it IS there, it really is.

You say you have only known pain, think about it, is that true, because I don't believe it is, I believe you think it is, because you have lost sight of peace, but you felt good at one time, you did, and you can feel good again.

This poem, it sounded to me, like you were saying that you've failed time and time again, and you asked to let others reach heaven so you could be left in hell...why? You deserve to be let in, and whether we believe in the after life, or whatever we believe in, we all deserve happiness and peace...in the end.

You wrote this with feeling, with meaning, but much of what you believe, is just unfounded, because you are strong...trust me, you ARE.

It took me a while to find the words to say for such a heart felt comment. Tara I don't know why I feel the way I do. So much positive in my life and I can only see the negative. Longing to go to hell for whatever reason. I wish I had the answer. I can only cry while I write this but depression is a part of me like my own beating heart. Controlling me like you said in your latest poem. It does begin with me if I want to change. Only I hold the final answer. Maybe I belong in heaven like you say, I just need to see it for myself. See myself happy and not sad. Once I can see that then maybe ill have faith and maybe ill see the light. Thank you Tara :')