I really like this, but its difficult to read without getting lost because there is no form... everything else is amazing though, your imagery and word choice are perfectly coupled and your soul really stands out here. Great piece for being a first here

This is truly amazing! I love your word choice and the way I/anyone could relate to this. I love it a lot. Though the use of stanzas would be nice :) but thats just a suggestion. :) keep writing :)