Have you wondered
what a broken memory
feels like? It's like a
silent morning with no
sun to draw the lines
of the horizon. It's like
a broken compass that
leads to absolutely no
where..

..It's like remembering you!

- really love this opening because I could relate straight away to having a memory which is not complete, to only remember half of it, or bits of it, or seem to forget the most important parts. You described the situation so well with those metaphors and then to end the stanza with adding this person in was excellent. Cutting to the chase that this poem is aimed at someone!

Piece by piece I am still
collecting the image we
once shared before, or
perhaps the picture you
drew for us, but I was too
young to understand or
even too close to see the
world through your eyes.

- I get the impression here the pain or betrayal was from when this person was younger, maybe she thought the world of the other person and could not see any flaws because young hearts believe what they want to and can easily ignore what they don't like. I love the way you have painted this picture but from two different sets of eyes, it is like there are 2 sides to every story.

But you always did, and
still do. You kept me safe
from things I never knew,
and I grew up in front of your
eyes but you were always
the silence surrounding me.

- growing up in front of them, makes me think this person was a relative, perhaps a parent or a sibling etc? At the time you saw one thing but now you look back you realise there was more to it and you begin to see the picture a bit differently.

I still see your childlike smile
in between the seriousness
of your voice and the lingering
bitterness you feel within.
So I am keeping the fragments
of what I used to know, of what
you decided to leave behind,
because one day you will ask
me to remind you of the old
picture you painted us both in.

- this ending really touched me, I feel it is about a sibling relationship and they have maybe moved on and left you behind, perhaps they have changed in a way you don't approve of. This ending actually made me think of my brother, going down a self destruct road but thinking one day he will come back to try and make things the way the were, to be reminded of the picture that used to be.

I thought this poem was quite deep, and I related it to my own situation which made it even more powerful for me.

Nicely done Meme xx

Have you ever (there should be ever to add more emphasis)wondered
what a broken memory
feels like?
It's like a
silent morning with no
sun to draw the lines
of the horizon.
Moreover(transition required here, because u are telling more about your idea), It's like
a broken compass that
leads to absolutely no
where.(just a period is sufficient)

Therefore(transition again,because this time it's your conclusion), It's like remembering you.

Piece by piece, I am still
collecting the image we
once shared(omit before because once shared already means past), or
perhaps the picture you
drew for us.(period)
But I was too
young to understand,(comma) or
even too close to see the
world through your eyes.

But you always did(no comma,sentence is very short) and
still do.
You kept me safe
from things, I never knew.
And I grew up in front of your
eyes,(comma) but you were always
the silence surrounding me.

I can still see your childlike smile
in between the seriousness
of your voice and the lingering
bitterness you feel within.
So, I am keeping the fragments:
of what,(comma) I used to know and of what, (comma)
you decided to leave behind.(period)
Because one day,(comma) you will ask
me to remind you of the old
picture you painted us both in.

Rest, your poem is perfect.

I like how you have started this of with a question. I detect sadness and perhaps a little bitterness just in this line alone.

I can relate to most of your words because I felt the same way about my older brother who always looked out for me but eventually when off track and the feeling of abandonment was just how you have described it here. You have memories that are now fading and some mementos that you still treasure....I have them too.

I really enjoyed this one...yes, it was sad but it was also very real...to me at least.

Wow...wow....superb...

Congrats on the Win sweets... Well deserved:)

Splendidly done

Can b related to time, father, brother , friend and a journey from past to present, from tenderness to maturity. Really ua poetry v matured oer d years.... Keep it up... Gud win.