Comments : Pepper to Salt

  • 10 years ago

    by Wild Flower

    So bad I can nominate poems, this is really amaaaazing. The description of the honest emotions.
    Great piece:)

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    The first thing I thought of when I opened this was the layout is so unlike your usual work. The title made me think it was going to be about change but didn't give anything away as to what was changing.

    I've been burdened with salt and pepper reality,
    where gravity devours the physical me, but fantasy takes me back to days of tree climbing and youthful skin.

    - so I take the change is going to be about age. I like the wording of gravity devouring you, it portrays your message very loudly. I think it was a nice touch at this point to add in some memories of younger days and what it was like for you back then.

    Wrinkles were only found on elephant trunks and young souls rubbed dandelions upon my cheeks to celebrate beauty.

    - I really liked this, I guess even from a very young age we do not know what wrinkles are and perhaps don't see them on people but only like the skin of an elephant because it is part of their description. I like the game with the flowers as it just goes to show how far back you travelled in this memory and how young you were.

    I try to ignore depression, as it snuggles in my dreams and as hard as I try nothing can stop hands of time, no amount of wrinkle masks can change natures plan for this body that aches to kiss the coffin in a deep, dark, soul bed of eternal.

    - depression snuggling in your dreams, wow, I like this because I feel our thoughts go a bit more deeper at night and often go into places we forget about bringing out emotions we don't want to face. Then being unable to stop time shows the truth of how short life is and how we take for granted each day we did have when we were younger and thought it would always last.

    The heart flitters childish grins which devour the rest of me and for now that is all I have, no amount of hair dye can erase the silver spun magic that is transforming upon my raven locks, and aging from pepper to salt is why the ashes will scatter and form new petals upon branches within the tree limbs of tomorrow.

    - I like how you bring back the reality here of what is, the reality of life and age. And then bring it together with the title of salt and pepper, a known metaphor for the drastic change between the two. your ending is also powerful in the way it can relate to new petals meaning new lives. Or it could mean new memories as well.

    Really touching piece. x