Comments : Within Mourn

  • 10 years ago

    by Autumn Leaves

    This poems has so much meaning within each line that it touches me. The truth is death is mankind worst enemy and it can only be swallow up by the creator of life which is God. It's true the pain that is left inside of the living after a death is excruciating, but having faith in a new system and the things to come helps us cope with the grief. I'm sorry if you recently loss someone in death, but know that its not the end. Along with trails and temptation we develop the quality of endurance, which builds up and prepare us for what's yet to come.

    Thought provoking...AL

  • 10 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    There are a couple of small grammar/spelling mistakes I saw. In the first line I like if it would say does death not... it would flow more freely that way. Then the very last line ur should be your but those are small. I hope you change them haha. Now to the poem. Lose should be loss.

    This really is thought provoking and different from what I have read before. The first thing my mind thought was that you say that death is a real person and has real feelings inside. It is interesting to see this side of darkness. It's hard to see the bottom from the top and vice versa. O love how you say death can really cry too. We think of death of some sort of dark entity but you kinda shine a light on the pain it can feel.

    My favourite line is time is a bomb inching towatd it's designation. Its really true. I also feel like you say death is a very lonely soul and maybe we die because he wants a friend. Ilike the second have of saying that we are all human and we are demons not angels. I love the tone of this though. It brings an interesting poem into perspective. 5/5