Interesting thoughts here and it is a decent effort.
I do think the poem is in need of some structure: try breaking it into verses rather than one long piece of prose.

Also be careful of repitition: using 'eyes' twice for example isnt the best idea. Also ensure I gets a capital. With a few edits the poem could be more polished.

I did like the subtle rhyme inbplaces which gave a flow to tge poem.

Keep working at it and well done