Comments : Unarmed Sweater

  • 10 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    This is unbelievable Hannah lol. Here's what I think. Remember just my opinion not sure if I'm right or wrong xx

    First- you start out very strong here with this stanza. Because you want or need a shoulder to cry on. I love the use of the word baptize. It is very unique for cry. Actually I have seen it used in poetry before. Then "my sins". What sins are you speaking of? That pulls the reader in to want to know more. At least for me it did. So well done there.

    Second- Sometimes all we want to do is feel comfortable with anything. And that's what I think you were trying for here. Your wording is amazing. The way you described the sweater is again very unique. Are you saying whisper sweet nothings into your ear? I am not sure there. But I think if you are it goes with the tone of the poem. That you want to feel comfortable and comfronted. :)

    Third- this stanza made me smile. I know you are talking about laundry but I loved the use of cheer. It holds a deeper meaning in itself. Here's what I think. Even when we go through "the wash " in life we always want someone to "cheer" us up. Very clever Hannah lol. I also liked the connection between grief and cheer. Also great word play there. Also we all want someone to hold us. When we feel down we want to know that someone cares. Even though sometimes we don't know what to say being there is what we need. The ending is very powerful as well. :). You find that comfort in the snallest of things and I think that is all you wanted all along. Well done. Overall. This is another brilliant metaphorical peice with such great wording.

  • 10 years ago

    by Skyfire

    Loved this! You have a beautiful style of writing.