First/second- Okay here in my opinion she wants to escape from this person. Because you said tunnel. Iove how you said daydream as well. It means it is her own personal fantasy of learning to live on her own. I also like how you said the he is plucking her feathers. Her heart I think here is the hope and everyday I believe her hope is becoming less and less. I love how you worded this stanza and built it up well. The second stanza made me smile lol. It was the point of the poem I feel. You make this guy out to be the worst person in the world. But I like it. I have never seen the word polluation used before actually so it was refreshing. Polluation is a mixture of things so he is a negative thing in her life.

Third- The third stanza is quiet sad. She looked for the sun (happiness) and dreamed of it everynight. I think what you are saying is that she is looking for any kind of opportunity to get out of that house and be free and start over. I loved the tone of this stanza. There are two sides of emotions you write. In the first half there seems to be a little bit of hope in her heart like she's planning her freedom. Then on the other half it seems like this guy is holding her captive and just hurting her in a lot of ways.

Fourth- I love the time lapse here. It seems you have said that the guy has finally passed away because you said parasite not beauty. She didn't cry any tears at all.I think she was more happy than upset. I like how you worded this stanza as well. Then the enending is such a testiment to this beautiful world and girl. The Lord gives happiness to those with such big hearts. Now this girl can finally live her own life and fly with her own wings as you say. I believe the feeling of freedom is what we all dream about. Anyway I am totally in love with whst you wrote here as it tells a great message. Anyone can be free if they want to be. Great write. I'm gonna nominate this as well because it deserves to be heard. Well done.

She began daydreaming of
clawing through the tunnels
of his blue smoke eyes
while he plucked every
feather of hope from
her chest -

- ok, I might be going way too deep here but these lines really stood out to me. I thought it to be about a relationship, of any kind, where one person is searching deep for some hope that the person loves them, cares for them, and has some kindness somewhere inside them. I love the line of tunnels for looking through the eyes. Brilliant. I feel the other person here does not appreciate the other. It is obvious there is love there on one side though, or they would not try so hard to hope for change.

he was a pollution
that the world could
never purify.

- fantastic line. No one likes pollution and yet we also know how it can never really be stopped. It is always around us no matter how hard we try to get rid of it. I really like this idea. I think it can also be put to the fact that the world sometimes sees the bad in people, and how clear it is that they do not love anyone else but themselves, and yet the person who loves them cannot see the flaws, or they can see but they ignore it because the love is so deep they get trapped in it. They can't escape and think this person will change.

Throughout the years,
she nibbled at daylight
through gangrene drapes
for she knew if she
showed any sign of
hunger for the sun,
he would bask at
the thought of her
starvation.

- wow, this really shows the confinement here. She is trapped, and it could be in a house, because he controls it. Or it could be based on emotions and how she feels trapped in herself, unable to be her true self because she is forever trying to please him and be who he wants her to be. I feel the sunshine here relates to freedom and happiness more than it does the actual sun.
--

She didn't deplore a single
droplet when the Lord purged
another parasite from this
beautiful, yet repulsive world -

she praised Him as she
leaped off the cliff of faith
and learned she could
fly with her own wings.

- so she is free. This ending is really touching and quite uplifting to people who would feel trapped in this situation. I can understand the emotion and confusion about why you would love someone, but then not feel pain or sorrow when they are gone. all you hold on to is that you can be free now and move on. The flying is just beautiful because it ties in so well with the freedom and the angelic spirit she has, that he tried to break.

Adored this poem, very much <3 x

Alis Volat Propriis - she flies with her own wings.

Judging comments:

WOW. I had no idea how this poem was going to turn - I already loved it in the beginning with the stark descriptions, but you wowed me with your ending. The last stanza blew me away, and I love the analogy with the cliff and faith, as it definitely rings a very true bell. After finishing the poem, the first half made me think it was about the devil with his temptations etc... especially when the bit about starvation popped up -- thinking about how the devil tempted Jesus in the desert. How I loved this poem, it hit me deep in the spirit. Beautiful!