I think a lot of the world wants us to look for our prince or princesses. I really enjoyed how you started this poem out. This girl was so filled with bliss and happiness until she met a guy. Though she could see through the rough outside. The way you describe the two characters is really great. One is a beautiful princess who as always been blissful and saw the beauty in everything. Then you had this other guy whowas a drifter (loner) who has had a rough life. It seems like the girl knew ssomething was wrong right away but still with her kind and caring heart she was nice. It's sad because people with the most kind hearts always seem to get hurt the most. That's when the abuse starts.
I liked the dialogue you used. It really does make the poem feel real and connected to the reader. And throughout you made a story which I love. Usually in longer poems people tend to stray from the story. You didn't. In fact you made the story more sad and thrilling in a way. The girl seems to fall in love or put under a spell. Also through out you made the guys brain seem crazier and crazier which is hard to do. By the end they are both very different people. this girl is such dark and is now the devil inside. Pain really does change people though. This is a really sad poem yet it is so well written. Great job
6 years ago
by Midnight Sky
Wow this had alot of emotion behind it felt the sadness flow through me good job writing it