Joss- I don't know what to say... this poem hits me so hard. Of course I have no idea what it's like to be a girl, but I do understand what it is like to be bullied. In my opinion "flawed" people are the most beautiful because they have the kindest heart. Though it's hard for them to open up. Anyways. I sense a lot of sadness and going back to the bullying thing. I feel like this is a younger girl who gets hurt by words. And I find it sad that people don't much words can really hurt. I'm going to the end.... I am glad you put this in because it's your best lines. People always are in denial when you are hurt. (Like the scars). People are blinded by their imperfections that they take it out on someone "lesser" than them. But as I said flaws make a person beautiful. Great write!
I am not sure of the layout of the poem, it needs some punctuation edited a bit, like commas, and capital letters where needed.
But other than that, the message here about being bullied through words, is very strong. And I actually think the poem would not have been complete without your added bit. I think it shows that words can hurt so much, and yet the people who say them often have no idea of what affect they truly have on a person.
The fact you have mentioned scars, implying self harm, is a trap for this person. They are clearly depressed and struggling with their emotions, but it is a cycle as it is only another excuse for bullies to comment on them. And then there is the tears, which some people will always see as a weakness and bully other people for. And it is like the message in this poem is quite ironic. They bully you for crying and self harming, which you wouldn't be doing if they did not bully you in the first place.
A powerful topic, and very relevant to life and school these days. Nice work.
6 years ago
by Trinity Heart
Okay this is beautiful both how cruel and how true this is realated to today's bullying nobody can take too much emotional "cuts" without something happening I know all to well how words can cut deep into your soul that physical pain became the norm to stop the hurt also I love the extra verse while the poem was complete without it that in my opinion made it perfect because it shoeed a "cause and effect" that I just loved reading 5/5 from me