Comments : Hiding behind false sentiment (haiku)

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This haiku is fantastic. You could say this might quilify for a senryu as well but understand why it could go either way. Which to me makes the meaning more special. The title to me is mind blowing despite the poem. And making a haiku in the sad category is bold but works well for me. Because of the poem itself. The rose is the target object clearly because that's what pulls you in but the meaning threw me for a loop in a good way. Juxtaposes is a word I have never seen so had to look it up. It is well placed within the poem. Since love and hate are opposite they go well together. And that last line makes your jaw drop. I don't normally react to a poem but this one made me mind crazy. Beautiful!!! Nominated!

    • 9 years ago

      by Darren

      Thank you, I appreciate you reading this and thanks for the nomination.

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I agree that this could very well fit the definition of a senyru if you were using rose to represent love or actually a number of brief moments or emotions felt as part of the human condition, but I think I like you calling it a haiku better because then everyone can have their own interpretation as they see fit. After all some of the best true haikus can be representative of a lot more than nature as well. Anyway, now that my rant is over, this is very well written and an excellent example of the form (either or) and the word choice was far from my expectations but it was a nice change from the simplicity people are used to with the form; great job.

    wonderful write

    • 9 years ago

      by Darren

      Thank you, on the surface it is a simple haiku about a rose, underneath it is a senryu about a cheating partner. Depends which way you read it.

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Only you could fit the word juxtaposes in a formed poem!

    I like this little poem very much, I think it is more of a Senryu, because the meaning of the poem is not so much to celebrate a moment in nature, but more based on the emotion behind the meaning a rose can have.

    It is very true, how the rose can symbol love and romance and yet at the same time, also danger because the thorns can bring pain. Such a relevant flower to symbolise life! And love!

    Enjoyed this poem.

    • 9 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks again saffie,

  • 9 years ago

    by DarkLight

    This is one and amazing piece.

    good art

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Darren looking back through older stuff and I come across this. It is a very good haiku because it can be interpreted in many ways.
    Yes, roses are beautiful but we have to be careful as 'one prick' does hurt. Love the word juxtaposes.

    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by Darren

      Yeah and that particular 'P' word can also be interpreted in many ways.

      thanks for reading