Comments : Detox

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Wowowow Hannah. I will be back for a good comment when I can. <3

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Detox is a lot of people have to go through. What a very clever write. The imagery alone stands out well for me. Not a lot of fancy metaphors to me, which is totally okay. The attention to detail is great, The poem overall seems to about this girl or women who is having a hard time getting her thoughts focused, because they seem to be always coming back to a guy, whom she used to love. Journaling is always a good way to release any negative thoughts but again they always come back to "him". The word cough I love, as it can be interpreted as " choking ". Where detox comes in is she is trying to rid the memories that burden her heart. You don't normally think of detox that way but it makes a lot of sense. The emotions are sad, especially at the end. It seems like even though its painful, she trying hard to move on. Excellent poem!

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Oh Hannah, wow! This has to be one of your best ones for me, for a while anyway. I just think the idea of this Detox and what it entails is so creative, very catching for the title too.

    I love the description you give, even to the tiniest details like how the window is on the left! So detailed!

    I like how you use the nature outside the window, to portray the comfort that this person used to bring, and now you cling onto anything which will give you the same comfort, or remind you of the comfort he gave.

    I also like how this poem could be about the detoxing of a person, an ex, someone you want to getrid of from your heart and mind, and not remember them anymore for they are harmful to you. Perhaps they stop you moving on in life and you can't get over the memories, and feel you need to detox yourself, but there are so many reminders of that time in the past.

    Overall, I just think the poem holds so much detail, and is structured so well, that it is an enjoyable read, and really leaves that impact of remembering something from the past, and how we need to move on from it, and let it go. But you also show the struggle of this.

    I really like how you open the window for air, which shows how suffocating it was inside the room, with all these thoughts and memories clogging your mind.

    I could also really picture the frustration of wanting to sit down and write, but nothing coming out!!

    Great work.