What a powerful poem. Ugh. This is such a beautiful dedication. Loved how you tried to speak for the guy. I can definitely understand his pain through this. Although it could be sad, I liked how you put this in the love category. Their love will be true forever. Anyways. The rhyming was really good and it flowed well. It seems like this is a memory of all the past things and even future things they were going to do together. You definitely put some romantic scenes and painted a pretty picture. Like the walk on the beach and just holding hands is simplistic but works well to capture that moment, and wanting to get married shows how fallen in love they were. Love the emotions here love and sadness mixed into one. Great job
Awwwweeeeee omgoodness this is such a beautiful and powerful poem, it really got to me and I had tears in my eyes, excellent work, you have talent and I hope you never lose it, and here's some advice, show this poem to whom you wrote it about!!!
Such a touching poem, it must be very painful to lose someone like that, especially so unexpectedly. It would be hard to come to terms with a reality like that, which you displayed well through the denial in the poem, the insistence that the girl is only sleeping.
The only thing I'm not so keen on is the last line. 'Cause' sounds a bit informal and in love should have a space. But aside from the grammar, I just don't think it fits as well as the rest of the poem. It interrupts the flow a little, in my opinion.
This was a beautiful piece - another favorite from you. I totally understood what was happening through the entire thing but the description at the bottom added to the emotional depth of the piece as well.