Reflective poem which raises questions in your readers mind! Well done for stirring my brain into action!

I like the openness of this poem, it has a tone of honesty that feels like you really opened up within this moment and let us inside your thought patterns. I also like how you open the poem with trying to hold on to that control of not going through this again, but you know you can't. The thoughts and questions come to your mind even with the instructions not to!

I found this line quite interesting and thought provoking:

for who knows if he yearns for my
silence or my words?

- that is the line that stuck in my end even at the end of the poem, I went back to ask myself the same question. I think it shows a slight doubt in what is going to help you right now, the options available and what faith really is.

Then you bring the end of the poem back to that battle f controlling, knowing you shouldn't hold on to this but it just comes to your mind.

I love poems which end with a question too, in this case, I find it is yourself that you are asking the question too, and the reader will also be answering it for themselves!