Comments : A Troubled Liar

  • 7 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Lights are smoking, drag me through the woods
    splinters in my soul, lay your eyes to rest

    ^ This is a wonderful introduction casey, especially for one of your pieces, it gives some of the scene and grabs the audience instantly. Your voice came out clearly from the first few words, I love it when you do that because then it's a piece I can hear you reading to me.

    i have nothing to give, nothing stares at me, i swear
    i'd comfort troubled liars for a stricken compliment

    ^ I love the honesty here. You really made this one personal to you. Good job.

    but it's not my game, she said it's okay but knows im a rebel
    fire won't listen, water's ruthless, im a coward

    ^ This is my favorite stanza in this piece. I fell in love with the second line of it. Amazing job. With the imagery. the word choice here. all of it.

    married to starlight i've never touched my bride before
    but she's touched me, and i felt nothing's eternity

    ^ The first time I read this piece I got to here and began reading from the beginning again. It got me off on so many different trains of thought that I completely forgot what you had been trying to say to me (the reader i mean).

    no faith for dreamers, goggles full of jellied blood
    you have the skin of trees, forgive me for winter

    ^ Another great stanza, wonderful job sharing yourself with us.

    a fault in a gaze seduces, seasons foster stress
    restless dreams are liars, i know they're wrong

    ^ And now you've hit me. Now I understand what this was about and I can't believe I loved this piece so much without realizing it sooner. I'm sorry you feel like all this so often. "restless dreams are liars" that's so true.

    i see only monsters in mirrors

    ^ Perfect conclusion Case, really, it is.