Comments : Doctor Dangerous

  • 5 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I just have a small grammatical correction:

    But he'll lose,
    If you choose,
    To achieve it.

    I belive that there should be no comma after "choose". It would be a bit more powerful that way, as well as more proper for the sentence.

    Other than that, a very enjoyable read. I'd actually be intrigued if you made this into a super hero poem saga. It has that potential.