Comments : A Bloom of Flower

  • 4 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    From within
    her smile blooms like a flower,
    on the garden of her oval face
    her fecund Nubian features
    enhances a radiant nude makeup - an artists inspiration.

    ^ I love this stanza, the beauty someone can hold is stunning. your imagery does not lack for power at all. I love how you say from within as well. we are all beautiful from within no matter how we look on the outside. The flower metaphor brings an excellent touch to this poem as well. Flowers are beautiful in their own right are can be easily compared to what is inside someone's soul.

    An inspiration from beyond
    trickles into me an intuition;
    an anointed vow from Above
    stamps a daze of love onto my soul
    I savor this angelic feeling
    that floods my tender emotion.

    ^ wow this stanza adds a lot more meaning to the poem and adds nicely from the first stanza. It seems like you are saying here that an angel is in your life and someone is watching over you. OR you could say that Love for a friend has stricken your insides and the happiness you feel comes from that. I love the vocabulary you used here as well it works well, I will point out

    The 'A' in above should not be capital.

    My emotions thirst
    for a beloved lingers,
    as loneliness awaits a gulp of
    affection to an ardent heart,
    my soul anticipates a luring sensation.

    I love the sensual word play here too. It works well. Though loneliness can creep back into your life, Love and happiness can overtake that part of a soul. loneliess does always seem to wait though and tries to comfort you when you fall down. but I like that added sentence it brings out a reality that we can all feel inside and out.

    Sensation oozes from my aura,
    a gust of peace encircles me
    as my eyelids close in meditation,
    soaking up the moment,
    flashes of a nuptial ties graces me.

    ^ OOOOOOHHHHH, The imagery here is great, like really well done. I think you bring a little twist to the story here and you make the reader think about (at least me) maybe you are the angel? and you are going up to heaven or this could be in the perspective of some whom you have lost and you believe they are in heaven and watching over you. That is what I love about poetry, the fact that we can think about a poem and wonder its true meaning.

    Gracing my eyes, her luminous tone
    draws me like a magnet as her charm
    kindles me, relishing her elegance
    I'm blinded to the watchful eyes of nature
    as I gaze my bride to be in my reverie.

    In my reverie, from within,
    her smile blooms like a flower.

    ^ such a beautiful ending here. Finally this person and you (if this is you) has made peace from within. So that tells me a lot of things that could have happened, all of which I say above. This piece stays great throughout and flows well. The word play is fantastic, and flawless. well done. 5/5 ( also going to nominate Monday if I can.)