Comments : Alfa and Aisha

  • 4 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Soft petals
    anointed by your love
    paved the path
    to your new home

    ^ This stanza alone could be formed into a new poem, it is breath taking. I love how you wrote this one as well. Flowers are showered upon their love and to me as I said before, brings happiness. With flowers I do imagine happiness and the birth of a new season (or in this case a new life for two people). As you said a new home, a new start to look at life through a different set of eyes.

    A home perfumed by a
    woody incense, ushers
    blessings from above

    ^ I love the way you worded this stanza as well. They had a wedding in the woods... that reminds me something like a fairytale of sorts. Nature is loving if you give it a chance though. The first two stanzas were wonderful though. I loved the use of the word perfume too. As in you could smell nature all around you and that in itself brought peace.

    Above, The-Mighty One's
    luminous grace
    trickles love, so divine

    ^ This stanza talks about God which in a wedding makes perfect sense. There is so much love to go around in weddings, and that happiness can spread throughout. Your wording is so peaceful here and it gives the reader a chance to get lost and feel like they are there with you.

    A divine, soothing tune
    consumes this luring
    space birthed by a vow

    ^ A vow, a promise to never leave each other. that is what a wedding is all about to vow to never leave each others side. This stanza also holds a lot of peace inside.

    A vow that promises
    miniature beings
    giant affection

    Affection of two;
    Alfa and Aisha
    sealed forever

    ^ Great ending and you can see how much you care about your friends and how special they are not only to you but to each other. You wrote this greatly and another thing I saw throughout the poem, is using the last word of a stanza to form the new one, I liked that and thought it was really unique. It flows with the story you intended. I love the theme as well because you did not stray from what you wanted your feelings to say at all. 5/5