Comments : My Ink

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Nice and original little piece. Well written.

  • 8 years ago

    by Rsan

    I appreciate it Ben for taking your time

  • 8 years ago

    by Kris

    Beautiful write!

    • 8 years ago

      by Rsan

      Thanks Kristina

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Rsan,

    This is beautiful and original. Such a refreshing piece.

    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by Rsan

      Thanks for your time,Em

  • 7 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    What a beautifully written piece with a great deal of creativity.
    The penmanship in this piece was so loving, emotional, and oozing with your feeling that gripped me right away.
    Loved it, beautiful stanza's with a solid foundation of words that played off each other.
    Keep it up!
    5/5

    • 7 years ago

      by Rsan

      Why thanks for your feedback..and am glad that you enjoyed it

      Much thanks'

  • 7 years ago

    by hiraeth

    I was drawn in by the title of this piece, and the category. I had a pretty good idea of what this poem was about and how it was going to be done, but still was pleasantly surprised.

    I have to admit, the punctuation and grammar can be improved a bit, it's detracts a bit from the poem. Also I found the usage of 'thy' to be a bit out of place here because everything preceding and succeeding it feels 'modern', and my personal belief is that old english words should be utilized when the poem itself is using mostly old english words, i.e shakespearean way, there's also a poet on here by the name of Ben Pickard that uses it quite well. That said, it's just my opinion on it, understand why you chose to use it. Also, 'Intense' after soulmate seems out of place, I recommend dropping it. Reads much better in my opinion.

    All in all, enjoyed this!

    --------------------------------------

    Here's a possible revision of the current poem, so that you can see how punctuation, grammar and formatting can be altered:

    ----

    "As I shall write these
    words, numbers, hieroglyphs,
    know that my
    pen, feather, quill
    shan't convey
    any truth or meaning
    without thy
    ink.

    As I shall speak to thee,
    friend, soulmate, intense,
    know that my
    heart, belief, existence
    shall be
    null ,nothing
    without thy
    love."

    • 7 years ago

      by Rsan

      Thanks for your keen feedback upon here. Will surely do the recommendations you gave and 'm also glad that you enjoyed it

  • 7 years ago

    by Augustus Black

    Hello Pal,

    It's a very interesting write. It's totally about feelings of faith. Both segment is telling the great meaning of love.

    A good write.