Comments : Forgotten skeleton

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    A short and thoroughly effective little piece. The imagery in so small a space and wording used are both superb.

    • 8 years ago

      by DarkLight

      Thanks Ben. It does mean alot coming from you.

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    The title 'Forgotten skeleton' is a juicy mystery and one too dark to resist exploration...

    The first line sounds lovely, the alliteration is music on the tongue and to the ear. Walking, meaning traveling/ /time passing. Strides - walking fearlessly without knowing/ realising that there is danger. Like walking through a jungle without the knowledge of the danger that lurks.

    Second line, states the reason she should take care and be wary. Those skeletons, those hidden/ forgotten memories/ people swept under carpets are never truly gone, just waiting to surface.

    Third line - I can relate - to prevent making the same mistakes it is best to try and deal with them. This takes time and support.

    Forth line - This poor lady has not managed.

    Fifth line - This poem is a nightmare and I like the way you resisted this word and allowed the reader to work this out.

    Our dreams are where we cannot hide our skeletons. They manifest themselves and remind us that we are not yet free.

    A very good write.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Excellent write! for a short piece this is filled with emotion and imagery which is both thought provoking and leaves the reader wanting more....I love this piece.