As you say, Saffie, how else could this situation leave you but full of turmoil and confusion! I would also add rage, hate, and a wish to do violence! I think I know the context and who it applies to, and If I am right, then that is fully understandable. The first verse is just so expressive and explodes at you; with you being forced into a situation you don't want to be in and then the impossibility of handling it. Also love the 'looking through the keyhole' statement; trying to check you out. I get the impression that this checking on you might be persistent fear of exposure. I hope it is and that he lives with it all the time; looking over his shoulder, wondering when your hands will stop shaking and he is arrested. I do hope you do manage to release it all sometime in the future, Saffie, to the proper authorities, and 'do unto him as he did to you! Sad poem and when you are in this place, I feel for you! Content excluded, the poem is another cracker, Saffie!