Comments : The Murder of Us.

  • 4 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    That term "tragic romance" or "tragically romantic" has always confused me, I confess. It seems that maybe it can only ever be those things to the people looking in rather then those who suffer it. Any form of tragedy in romance seems to only ever come with negatives attached.
    This is a sad and moving write. I wasn't sure about the lay out to begin with, but I feel it adds a certain nostalgic feel to what is, essentially, a sad story poetically written.
    I particularly like your "cleaned out of metaphors" line because you then go on to create some wonders!

    All the very best and take care,

  • 4 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Another one I can feel so well.

    Straight away the tone of this poem is kind of like.... (thinks of a word) I don't know, like you are kicking yourself because you knew this would happen, yet you still allowed yourself to take the chance.

    It has the tone where you ask the question, yet you already know the answer, but you know you took the risk, knowing you would have to face the inevitable.

    There is so much inside this poem, even the way you admit you can't really be bothered taking the time to construct "poetic" poetry, which implies how raw the emotions were at the time of writing. Also backs up what you say about just not having the words to possibly describe this pain left behind.

    I do like your last line, when you wonder if one day, just maybe, you will no longer be hurt, because you will not allow someone else to be the sole source of your happiness, and you will be your own happiness.

    I think this is the ultimate goal and answer to a lot of things, if you find your own happiness, you can't rely solely on others, making it hurt less when they leave.

    Loving the title, murder, such a strong word!
    Great job, and I love how this is set out by the way!!