Comments : Unfixable.

  • 4 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Argh - another in my favourites!

    Your word what is in my head in a way that I could never do - but you make it seem so easy like it effortlessly rolls off your pen!

    You start the poem by showing readers that there are two characters here, and show how strong the bond is by using the constellation - such an important part in establishing how deep the connection is/was.

    I like how you then go on to add speech into the poem, those unforgettable words, I feel this is so important to make them stand out, as this was the changing point in the poem, because it was the changing point in the relationship. I cannot tell you how much I am screaming this stanza right now!

    I also think the pixie dust was a great addition, because sometimes I think it will be so much easier to just pretend nothing has changed, but it is not possible.

    My favourite stanza is:

    We can't go back to the
    old world; too many stars
    have died, too many hearts
    sunk without an anchor.
    We've changed far too much
    and whether for better or
    worse I'll never know for
    sure.

    - excellent use of the stars here, and sinking hearts. It shows too much has changed for things to remain the same, the problem then comes when we do not know if the change will be for the better, or if it really will be painfully agonising.

    I can't keep doing whatever
    "this" is.

    - I also think it is so important that you highlighted the word "this" because when it gets to this point, where you can't even work out what you have with a person any longer, then sadly that says a lot.

    I'd like to think I'm
    indestructible and strong
    enough to forget, but I'd be
    a fool to forget I know.

    - such wise words here, and so true! It is so easy to want to forget, but you would only be fooling yourself, and no one else. Could we ever forget really, even if we tried?

    Your second last stanza shows the determination not to let this control your life at the moment, but I think the most relevant part of it is the word "try" because you know it will be a battle. Promises made and broken, are often the most painful part of letting go of someone.

    The ending is amazing, not only a powerful ending, but a statement too, I am not sure if it is actually aimed at the other person, or in fact yourself to hold onto, as something to remind you that this person cannot come back into your life any more, the change is needed to protect you from being hurt again.

    Loving this write so much at the moment.
    I sure have missed your work!

    x