Hello

This is a good write that mixes free verse and more defined rhyming well and originally. You said in your pm it was your first piece like this; it's always good to push ourselves and you've done so very well here.

I like the way you chopped the final 13 or 14 lines up into short, sharp ones - it makes the poem 'accelerate' towards the dramatic end.

A unique piece and one I enjoyed immensely.

All the best and take care
Ben