Comments : An Ocean of you

  • 4 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Alanis,

    I do like prose style writing, but reading it in a whole block can be off-putting. I hope you don't mind if I have a quick go at changing the format only. Again, I hope you don't mind as it is only a suggestion.

    An Ocean of you

    You hide behind your words like a master of disguise. And I know that these words are old and used and broken, but they're all I know among thieves and chivalry.

    I'm thrown between rock and wave trying to find my footing. I can't offer you sympathy because that would destroy us both. I can caress your hand and hold your ear in a series of sweet words because that's not my place, but rather mine to spectate.

    I am not sure if the beach holds my sanctuary away from the foamy disease, or if I belong in the desolate waves that continue to haunt me so.

    I don't know if the wave sweeps me in or pushes me away, but rather I am a corpse caught in the mercy of the unknowing.

    How can I console you when I know not my place? How can I continue to force my way a against the tide to receive a name, a past life requesting a regain?

    Instead, I'll stand and wait until the roaring tides decide my fate.


    Alanis, just by creating space, this well written poem becomes more accessible.

    Take care,