This is raw and is the kind of poetry I wish there was more of. There is a complete lack of overproduction as you yourself practically acknowledge "my poems are bad now. I haven't edited my CV." In fact, and I'm sure you are aware of this, the layout is off, the grammar is off and the flow of the piece stops and starts.
I have read enough of your work to know that that is not because you are unable, it is literally because, as you say 'my poems are bad now'. We, as the reader, are seeing the effects of that. But that's the magic of the piece: It's blunt, moving, raw and emotional to read.
I myself have had times I have felt like this. You still need to write, just to get it out there, but you can't even be bothered to capitalise your letters!
Love really can leave you feeling like this when it turns around and bites you in the arse: confused, unsure of yourself and unwilling to bother.
This is an unpolished gem and - as above - more poetry should be like this, rather than focusing on superficial gloss. Mind you, that can apply to the world in general....

Take care,

SL

I've read a bunch of poems tonight and this is by far the only one that relates to me the most. Thank-you!!