Comments : The Role

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Pedro, this is a very sad write which is unique and I feel it's not like anything I have read before when the writer is feeling 'miserable.' You have a unique way of telling the reader that you aren't at your best but I like the optimism within this that there are brighter days, just not today.

    1/ Fantastic opening that shows us that you feel you have no role on earth but we all do, we are all here for some reason but we have to figure out what reason by ourselves and unfortunately it takes longer for some than others.

    2/ this shows that you are feeling empty inside and again like you have no purpose. I like how you say you try and find the end of the tunnel and the border because there's hope there of finding your purpose within life but then the u-turn of always failing and as people we will fail to get where we need to be, to fins our role in life. There is a typo on the first line 'trough' should be 'through' and a typo on the last line 'aways' should be 'always'

    3/ For some reason this part got me.. I can feel the emotion here a sense of longing/needing to find your purpose and I can relate here feeling lost and without purpose.

    4/ I feel a sense here of going round and round in circles trying to find yourself and I guess this is relatable to many of us as we all seem to this at least once in our life's. There is a sense of hops though knowing you have a purpose and knowing you can be happy. Typo on second line 'hopely' I feel should be 'hopefully.'

    5/ very sombre ending, which relates back to the whole piece.
    Take care and welcome to P&Qs
    Em