Comments : The last strike of midnight (Pendulum) (HM)

  • 7 years ago

    by Phil

    I liked this when you posted it to the group and I can see you have spent some time changing it around a little, love the end result. Still impressed with how well some people write on here.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Michael - this is why I read your poetry.

    Nominated.

  • 7 years ago

    by stormingdance (Lessa)

    Powerful, beautiful!

  • 7 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I'd have nominated this if evil Ben hadn't beaten me to it, I love the format of this piece, totall agree with PW the end result of your work on this has really paid off and it reads perfectly, connotation is spot on!

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Michael, you slay me! Loved this in club discussions, love it even more now...the way you built up the suspense-wonderful!

  • 7 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Pendulum's eventually come to rest at it's equilibrium position - I wonder what the equilibrium position is for the subject (the women). Is it repentance? Is it acceptance? I read it backwards as well, and it feels more like the former; the image of 'breath creeping' paints someone invigorated with a new sense of life, to me at least.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    I am glad this has been nominated and also that you posted it because it's great well more than great but reminded me of Cinderella losing her glass slipper. You know all those fairy tales that girls like me get strung up on lol a D they never actually happen more like idiots in tin foil hahaha I know, I know not all men are the same I just make bad choices LOL!
    Take care, Em

    Pa I hope you don't mind I wrote something based on this, I will post soon as I'm not so sure about it so on that note thanks for the inspiration though probably nowhere near as good as yours.

  • 7 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    The slow tolling is adeptly forced on the reader by the spacing, well done.
    The implied suicide, terminating at midnight, is subtle yet definite. The vague implications of "scuffed party shoes" can lead so many directions, including the choice as to whether it is metaphorical or literal.
    And the method itself is left open to interpretation. Has she used a knife or some such powerful poison that it's impact is like "a secret of steel"?
    Purposely ambiguous, your work is compelling; each line is seen, not just as punctuated by peels for the clock tower, but also as strobe flashes which reveal clues which must be solved.

  • 7 years ago

    by Hellon

    I think you may have posted this in the week I lost my internet connection because, I seem to have totally missed this wonderfully mysterious poem and surely this is the reason.

    Let me say, I read it both ways and, my preference was gong (1) through to (12) although either way gave a sense of mystery. I loved they layout as it gave the reader time to digest each scene and, yes, I did imagine Big Ben's strikes in between each on.

    I really enjoyed this whole poem and so glad I finally found it...rather late but, better late than missing it totally :)