Comments : A Frozen Hourglass (Concrete)

  • 5 years ago

    by Hellon

    I really like this poem...the layout, the wording, the message.

    I think this is the first of yours I've read and it was thoroughly enjoyable!

    • 5 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

  • 5 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Glad this is nominated, Kasie - it really is very good. Love the hourglass layout.

    Take care,

    Ben

    • 5 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you, I wanted to make the word 'Lingers' look like sand falling through the hourglass, but it sont look right.

  • 5 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    I liked the message here Kasie, as also the hour glass effect. Well done!

    • 5 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you

  • 5 years ago

    by Brenda

    Kasie, so very well done. With this new site, not the easiest feat.

    • 5 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you. I'm hoping that one day we can be a little more creative with styles like concrete poems... like maybe a butterfly or something along those lines.

  • 5 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Nice shape here. It's a shame that we can't format poems exactly how we want to. Maybe Janis will work on this needed change?

    • 5 years ago

      by Kasie

      Thank you, I'm hoping we are able to be a little more creative.

  • 5 years ago

    by Em

    Kasie, I will apologise now for missing this absolute beauty of a piece, I have been poorly. As Mr D said it's a real shame we cannot format these concrete forms (a reason I stay clear of them) but maybe in time we can, here's hoping. I do love the format, shape and content. It's awesome.

    The endless days that slowly pass
    As the sun rises and sets.
    ^^
    Those kinds of days are the worse especially when depression is kicking your ass as they seem to pass much more slowly and darker and even more so when there's nobody to pass the time with. It's kind of the same sh it but a different day. Maybe that's just me though.

    Sand lingers in an
    Hourglass
    Of
    Lost time
    ^^
    I love the imagery here. Just beautiful but sad too in a way. I felt my whole body sigh when I read this part for some reason.

    And life’s regrets
    With broken dreams and
    Darkened shadows of silhouettes.
    ^^
    All I can say with this is it's a beautifully crafted ending. We should never regret things we have done but those we haven't because well, we haven't tried them lol.. I guess we all have broken dreams, things we have wanted to do but have been unable to do them for one reason or other and well the last line says it all.

    Take care, Em

    • 5 years ago

      by Kasie

      Em, Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I hope all is well with you and you overcome any troubles you are having.

  • 5 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Hi Kasie. This is a lovely piece.