Ooh lala Miss M
Lovely piece of romantic writing :)
candles and dancing and much more no doubt :)

Well done

Michael x

This was full of juicy words - which when the pond of the English language is so bountiful, one would be foolish not to fish in.

However, I do feel as though perhaps there could've been more - not in terms of length, because i think it was a good size - but by way of story. I wanted to delve into the character/s more.

A very atmospheric piece of writing, Mel, written in nice, rhyming quatrains.
All the best,
Ben

Lady Mel, nicely written! Quite the juicy story line....well done!

Just a little suggestion, feel free to ignore it,

"Nothing of that hunger was left
Soon the rising sun broke the day."

when i read that, i felt something was missing and i think

"soon the rising sun broke bread that day." might work a bit better, since it ties into the idea of hunger and the 'dining room' that you mention in the next stanza. Like I said, just something I thought might work better.

That being said, this is a fascinating write. Thank you for sharing.

And she kissed her man with nothing
For him to think he’s doomed.

For sweet and innocent are her eyes
He could never want for more

No vampire would have innocent eyes. Quite the opposite, but why if she behold all the beauty in the world, would chain herself to this insatiable beast? It's less about him and more about her struggle to live at his side. It reminds me of stories of the Duchess, being married to a man she can't satiate or love.

I like your writing and I want you to write more. :)

Thank you.

I love all your comments. Thank you all. And I love how you see this differently. :-)