Comments : The Broken

  • 6 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I have a problem where I do not know where to end long lines - especially since all my works start out as just blobs of text. I feel like that happened here also, not that it's a bad thing, just that it made it more difficult for me to focus on my first read through. I love the personality in this and all the other directions this idea could take on. However the repetition was plain old annoying! Consider rephrasing some lines - it'll give the piece more to make it unique and creative.

    • 6 years ago

      by TheDarkCloudBehindthePoet

      Thank you you 4 taking the time to read my poem and give me advice. I really appreciate that. I hated the repetitiveness at the end but I was rushing to finish it. I'm definitely going to do some rephrasing because I really loved this piece. Thank you again Blue Jay!