One of the worst aspects of losing someone/thing is when you reach that point that you think you are past the grief to a larger extent and then - out of nowhere - you find yourself literally gasping for breath and feeling like you have been kicked in the guts as the shock of the loss hits you all over again.
However, over time, these moments do decrease and do get easier to bear - if never leaving us completely. I suppose that's what they call life's baggage...
Great write and all the best,
ps 'apart' at the end there should be ' a part'- two separate words on this occasion.