Comments : Controversal (Haiku)

  • 1 year ago

    by Jamie

    I really enjoyed this Haiku because it is different from what I usually read and I like different in Poetry.

    The title is a really good one because there are many topics in the world we live in nowadays that are controversial so it drew me in right away to see what the poem is about. Whether it be religion, politics, etc. The other thing that drew me in was it being a haiku, because on a personal level I love haikus and senryus so much. so when they are both connected especially with that title, I am curious to see what you wrote.

    Line One- Ah, Right away I can clearly see it is about religion and women, which are both hot topic issues in the world now. This line is interesting because again like the title it could literally be about anything women wise. what gift is it, good or bad? I love this line because it truly makes me as the reader want to keep reading because the next two lines will (or should) have the answers.

    Line two- Never an Adonis. Of course the key word here is Adonis. But it really fits in with this line because I feel like it is leading up to something sad or bad. This line is talking about a women who never has a handsome young man in their lives or someone who never stays in their life at least and they end up alone.

    Line Three- This is the something bad that the whole poem was leading up to. and I feel like this is an excellent ending to a good story written in three lines. A gut feeling tells me that there is a hidden meaning here as well. Especially in the second and third lines. It could mean that when the pain comes that an Adonis never stays in the women's life, and that in turn makes the pain worse. The pain would then be physical and mental/emotional. If this is the case, this poem is genius. because you wrote it with an obvious meaning and a masqueraded one.

    well done.

    • 1 year ago

      by Michael

      Thank you Jamie, for your comments which I really appreciate.
      and you are right in your break-down. This piece has a few interpretations within, and I enjoy other readers perspectives, in which case I leave it open :)
      Thanks again
      Michael

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Very clever, Michael. I would say it made me giggle but - being a man - I'm not sure I really have the right!

    Take care and all the best as ever,

    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Michael

    Thanks Ben :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Hope

    Understood.

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hi Michael,

    I enjoy this format. It can allow a writer to deliver a concise message, or here, a message that could be interpreted many ways. I realise Jamie has analysed some of this already. The intriguing line for me is the title. The word controversial and haiku. Is this a controversial haiku, meaning the poem content, which should be nature based, is arguably true? Now this is the question only you can answer.

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 1 year ago

      by Michael

      A "controversial Haiku" the interpretation of poetry never ceases does it Mr D?

      Thank you for a great comment :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Michael, love this! Amen brother. Amen!

    • 1 year ago

      by Michael

      Thank you miss Brenda. amen sister amen ;)x

  • 1 year ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Hi Michael :-)
    The way I read this was ... women menstruate (periods) which is supposed to be 'God's gift' (the ability to create life) but is actually just a pain, rather than the other fabled 'God's Gift' they'd rather have - aka - Adonis.
    Therefore it IS a haiku because menstruation IS nature, and it may be controversial because talking about menstruation makes some folk uncomfortable.
    It's great that so many interpretations can be found from just 10 words. Fab stuff! :-) x
    =^.^=

    • 1 year ago

      by Michael

      Yes Miss Kitty, well deduced :) also the 'nature side' could be that also 'men' are the periodic pain as none of are 'Adonis' so to speak (no offence men, being one-none taken haha)
      Thank you Kitty for u=your comment and great perspective :)x