Comments : Barely *Haiku*

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Nicely thought out, building the picture and then the final turn/twist at the end.
    My only critique would be to use a different title. Using a word from the main body of the poem is a shame when you have so few to play with. I often use it as a 4th line. Arrhythmia, perhaps?

    Anyway, good work.