First off, welcome back to the site, Adam. This is the sort of piece that screams your need for some sort of release; the desperation in your words is obvious throughout. Writing and posting here may just be the catharsis you need to some degree.
Keep building those bridges and keep trying - it sounds like you genuinely want to repair the damage caused, and that's a damn good place to start. Nominated for the weekly.
Wow ben thank you so much for your kind words. Your right I used to write to Express my feeling and how I felt at the time as I'm not good talking about my feelings. Then life took control and time went past and all of the sudden after 13yrs I took pen to paper and wrote for the first time. Some people like to run the problems off some like to draw, this is my release as you said. And would like to thank you for such a kind welcome back to this site.