Comments : Changing Tides

  • 3 months ago

    by Liz

    I love how calming reading this piece has made me feel. Hoping to nominate this once I'm able!

    • 2 months ago

      by Gracy Judith

      Thank you so very much Liz for the nomination and for the feedback.
      -gracy x

  • 2 months ago

    by Daniel

    I enjoyed the form of this, as it dictates the speed, especially throughout the middle. It's a very clever poem. I particularly loved the wording:

    'I abandon sepulchral grounds
    the worrywart in me no longer lingers'

    here. I love worrywart! I'm not a huge fan of overly worded poems but yours always strike a fine balance between the concrete and the abstract. I do feel you could do more with the punctuation to stem the flow of the poem a bit.

    'I abandon sepulchral grounds.
    The worrywart in me no longer lingers.'

    Or even mirror the ellipsis used in the first few lines?

    Another comment is:

    'melting, spilling
    as though tepid rain.'

    This is a little awkward. I don't entirely feel you need these two lines? But I understand why you've included them. It's more that the rest of the poem flows so well, these two lines took me by surprise and it took me a while to imagine the image you tried to create. It's just a personal take of mine. Wonderful writing as ever though Gracy. :)

    • 2 months ago

      by Gracy Judith

      Thanks you so much Daniel. I always value your feedback. I do appreciate you breaking down the poem and commenting. I do need pointers sometimes as I go with the flow and overlook punctuation. I got rid of the extra ellipsis. I will endeavour not to overly word my lines-- it's going to be difficult but I will try :-)