Comments : She's My Beautiful Soulmate

  • 1 month ago

    by Maple Tree

    What a beautiful and lovely poem David- Just beautiful! I have one suggestion -

    "She's takes my breath away every day"
    ^^ it reads better if it was written "she" takes my breath away every day.

    I think you are trying to stay with "she's" throughout your poem but I would like to toss out a suggestion if I may- You could try writing it like this "She's the bright smile on my face
    and takes my breath away every day"

    also, in your second line you have two "ands"

    I adore small gentle poems that are powerful and this one is a beauty. I hope I was helpful. Take care