Comments : Stalemate - Senryu

  • 1 month ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Wonderful senryu. The title is so clever and works really well with the rest of the text. I also like how you've centered it

    • 1 month ago

      by Walter

      Thank you Keira for your thoughts and comments. I think when working with a senryu and only 17 syllables, the title does play a lot into it.

  • 1 month ago

    by Em

    Hello Walter,
    The title here could point to many situations in one's life really because many of us have relationships that turn stale and it seems they do this literally 'overnight' for example I had a friend throughout my childhood and she seemingly turned her back on me because of the relationship I had found myself in and though, I'd known her years she unfortunately, believed his lies over my truths but these things happen and we have to learn from them even if they aren't our 'mistakes' to learn from in the first place.
    I like the word choice in line one as we can't actually read minds but wouldn't it be a wonderful power if we could although I'm guessing some would use it to their advantage in the wrong way, if that makes sense... Sorry, I digress.. I say these choice of words are a good one because it shows your know this person well, you know what they're like, you're close to them in ways others aren't - maybe not in a relationship with them but possibility of a best friend relationship or they're a relative of some kind so, yeah to me this says "I know you well - so I know what you're thinking."
    The second line, again, good choice of words. In my opinion this says - no matter what, I have you're back, I'm not going to turn it on you no matter what you do to me or have done to me, I'll still be here for you because of how close we are, which makes me believe you're connected by blood - again, possibly.
    Although, with the last and second lines read together it's as thought you've been out in this predicament before so you're not wanting to 'turn the page' because you know it won't end well as it's not ended well for you before so it's seems now this is infact, unfortunately about a break up, maybe, which we can all relate to.

    This is a really clever and well thought out senryu Walter.
    Tske care,
    Em x

    • 1 month ago

      by Walter

      Hi Em and wow! Thanks for such an amazing comment :) My thought process seems to go through similar scenarios when reading or writing a senryu and we each relate it to what we feel or have gone through. And as always, your analysis is spot on! Thanks again Em x

  • 1 month ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Clever musings, it almost doesn't need a 3rd line. ;)

    • 1 month ago

      by Walter

      Thank you Mr. Darcy and yes, I thought exactly the same thing when writing the third line!

  • 1 month ago

    by Andrew Mayanja

    Very succinct.

    Thank you

    • 1 month ago

      by Walter

      A big thanks also Andrew :)