Comments : Natures Own Harmony

  • 1 week ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Absolutely beautiful! Not sure how I missed this, but I'm glad I've found it.
    This is definitely a step up from your other pieces ( not in a derogatory way, but as in they're really good, this is excellent )
    I feel as if you've tried to be experimental with the theme, rhymes and even the title. On the latter one of those, I always love to see diversity from the text. A title should be linked to the poem, but it's all the better if you don't repeat a line from the text and use it as a title, if you follow me :)
    I loved the summery feel to this. Centering nature poems always looks really lovely, and, sometimes, presentation is everything. That is, personally, as I'm a bit of a perfectionist, lol.
    On the note of me being picky, my few suggestions would be to use a few pronouns instead of using the same word. It doesn't really matter, and sometimes it can be a bit difficult to actually find word replacements, but it always makes a poem neater.

    Flying in harmony above all of the of the others

    ^^ I think you might have accidentally typed twice. I do it the whole time! It's normally worth re-reading your poems before you post them so that annoying people like me can't come along and point errors out, lol.
    These are just suggestions, as they don't really affect the actual context much.
    This is a really wonderful piece, Jack, so well done! Perfectly fitting for this time of year.

    • 1 week ago

      by Jack

      Thanks for your awesome comment!

    • 5 days ago

      by pandasister4

      That is the longest comment I've ever seen on Poems and Quotes. And ur right. I like dis poem

  • 3 days ago

    by Jack