Comments : Uncertainty

  • 2 years ago

    by Rayven

    There is always a certain uncertainty when we think about/come out of a toxic/abusive relationship. The pain is very real and it's difficult if not impossible to trust people ever again. That's why I believe the title works here. We see things differently.

    There is so many emotions in the first stanza which I think works well to set up the rest of the poem. You always want to grab the readers attention and you have done so. At least in my case. You feel guilty about something perhaps in your past relationship for not leaving sooner or getting into it in the first place? Yet there is loneliness because you feel alone with your thoughts (or so it seems).

    Great second stanza because you wanted the reader to see why you felt guilty and lonely and you have done so, while using the same type of emotions. You were young (using the word naive is always great to use for youthfulness). People are always charming at first but in the end they show their true colours.

    You showed sadness through your eyes (which is also great to showcase how you feel inside) I can imagine your voice being a whisper at this point because it was unheard, no one listened perhaps because you were too young.

    You were quiet so everyone thought you were full of drama. You didn't let your pain show because no one listened. I feel this so much. You were full of love and this person hurt you to the point where you just gave in.

    The story is a sad one but it's well written throughout, I wouldn't change anything personally because you were consistent and each stanza flowed well together.