You were glowing the night we met-
I remember it like it was yesterday.
You had this big bright smile and this easy way about you that drew me in like a bee to honey;
And I couldn’t get enough.
The excitement of seeing you never went away after that first night;
Even now years later I still find my heart racing when your name lights up my screen-
the same way it did every time I saw you in person and jumped straight into your arms.
You always caught me,
Even if we both almost fell to the floor a couple times.
The sound of your heartbeat had always been my safe haven and your love had always been the most healing thing my heart had ever had the pleasure of experiencing.
You always said you wanted to help me but I know you loved me;
And maybe that was your way of helping me.
I needed someone like you-
Someone who brightened my day ten times as much as you brightened the room around us and your light,
It never went away.
You never even faltered.
That was back when I lived for those nights and those nights alone;
Back when I was hurting but had numbed myself of the pain by simply not dealing with it but you;
You saw right through me.
You saw every broken part of me that everyone had left me to deal with alone and you loved me anyways.
You loved me tenderly.
You kissed my forehead like it was the most important thing in the world to do and held my hand like we had been together our whole lives.
I wished so hard that we had.
I’ve been searching for a love like yours since-
Knowing that no matter how much I wanted you to be mine, you never could be.
I’ve failed so hard to find it.