Love it. You are vry talented. :-)

To disagree with the last comment, I don't love this poem.

It's okay but you can tell it's not from your experience, you haven't felt that pain to the extent your friend has.

I actually think what she gave you was a better poem...Remember, you don't have to have a rhyme in a poem...Free verse poems are some times more powerful than those that rhyme.

And if you do rhyme, don't force it!