I like what you're saying here, i mean the message of the poem, be yourself and be true and all that, amen sister.

The structure of the poem, and the way it flows off the tongue, at least my tongue, i think needs some work..like have yo tried speaking it out loud? Maybe you could imagine you have to read it out at a poetry night and see what changes to you might make.

A quote comes to mind when I read this: "He who dies with the most toys is still dead." Nice message, one that a lot of people would benefit from hearing and taking to heart.

Matt