Comments : No one to break the fall

  • 19 years ago

    by Johnny Marlin 2

    Excellent poem, the concept and feelings portrayed were awesome. As for making it better. Pay some attention to syllables. For Example...

    I have a gun
    it's over their
    how many shots
    to show you that i really do care

    although it rhymes, it isn't as smooth, because the last line is so long. Hope I helped... Jason