Ann, I liked your poem, I haven't been writing for so long and I don't really know everything about poems, but I think that in this poem you put alot of events in too little space, which prevented me from "living" the poem.
Personally, I love poems to be simple and expressive, but not in a hurry. I love to give each feeling its time ;)

And thanks for commenting on my poems, it really made me more enthusiastic to post more of my poems, maybe you'll check them later :D

Yours,
Fatimah

awesome! i loved it! truly great! keep in touch!
lexi lou

i know what u mean!