fascinating poem... I like it.

I'm kind of confused, though... what does the city being in ruins have anything to do with the painting and the girl's suicide?? I mean, not only is this set in a lost city, it's also about a girl who commited suicide IN that city.. That detail isn't really needed, and the poem wouldn't altered a bit if it was removed... although I guess it does create a mysterious feeling..

I've read endless amounts of poetry about suicide.. only 1/8 of which I comment on. This one is pretty unique, compared to all the others. Yet it can be improven by making it be more developed and elaborated. The poem just seems to tell me that a girl painted a painting which, if looking closer, reveals her suicidal sides. Oh, and she lives in a lost city. How about describing how she painted it? Where was the painting? What did she paint?
Sometimes I get the feeling that it's a girl IN the painting.. but other times I wonder... like in this line..

"To put her sadness into art".. shows me that perhaps SHE painted something. So it's kind of unclear in that sense.

So my basic suggestions is to make it more developed .. I feel like it's not finished completely..

otherwise, I thought it was good.

Yes, it is a bit cleared up now.. however, I'm not sure if you should've put the prolouge lines and separated it like such. I like the prolouge itself, but some how it doesn't seem to flow.. kind of like a chopped up story. Also, the other parts of it are still a bit confusing.. you move from one structure of rhyming to the next, and it's never consistent. After the second stanza after the prolouge, the structure isn't organized into stanzas at all.. keep working on it and I'm sure it'll be great when you're done.

Hello again! I'd have to say that this poem improved a bunch since the first time I commented... it's much more developed and descriptive - you've done a nice job revising it...

Although.. I think your structure is too inconsistent... the "Except by the soul screaming her story".. wasn't really needed, and I think it would improve had you organize the stanzas better.. like the first few stanzas...

But, I absolutely love the last stanza.. bravo on that!!

Bravo on improving the poem to what it is now - I'm sorry if my comments are a bit nit-picky.. feel free to ignore them.. :)