You've asked for honesty, and i know you said you're not content with it, but i am.
I liked how you described her as an angel, i'm assuming this means she's innocent. Also the ending "As thus,
The angel takes flight." I thought it was quite sad, but good in a way too, i mean tha she's free.
If you're still not happy maybe you could add something else in the middle about the burning as it is quite a short poem. But personally, i like it.
Thanks for sharing, deffinatly an original topic to write about.

I think its very touching and very well written I enjoyed reading it.. it is a little short but as they say short is sweet or something like that.. I love the last part thus the angel takes flight. Very good work

i like the other one better...this one is very obvious as to its intent, though; which is good, because you're getting the message across. I enjoyed it.

also, I disagree with diamond's comment....i don't think it should be any longer; you've written a poem best left as it is.

It's good; I don't think the 3rd stanza "A Single gleaming tear" fit into it though... well, that's just my opinion, and the only honesty I can give :-). Btw thanks STACKS on your constructive critism in my work- I really DO appretiate it!!

Great job with this...i loved it

Nicely written poem. Loved it. It was absolutely, shall we say, incredible?

Also, thanks a bunch for the criticism on 'The painter', it really helps. Truth is, I don't like it much myself, I just wanted to see what some people other than myself thought of it. Otherwise I'd never have posted it online, it just wasn't elaborate enough for me.

Admittedly, I think that this poem is quite beautiful as it is. While grim, tragic (as were the witch trials), there is a musical quality to the poem as it is.

But along those lines, you might try placing "And the angel burns..." as a refrain after each stanza.

Likewise, you have the rhyme scheme per stanza of "eyes", "dies", "lies"... and then you break it in the fourth stanza. I'm not exactly sure what to place instead of that final line and the following, but perhaps something like this:

"In the silence a blinding light she spies"

And then:

"As thus,
The angel flies"

That would keep the rhyme-scheme if it's at all important. I really do think this is a beautiful poem as it is. I'm not sure that what I suggested will make it better, but it is currently a wonderful ode to the thousands of innocents slain during the witch hunts, and the general murder of pagans in Europe who were unwilling to accept Christianity.

I still think the two angel poems is too alike, even thought teir very different:)

I havent scored because you say it isn't finished, but my first impression is that it's building very nicely. Form and prose are evenly matched and the tale is interesting.

(When you do finish it I can't see it scoring less than a five.)

Bert

I liked it very nice start. Though, as you said it seems no where near completion.... keep working on it I can't wait to see the end result!

Ummmm... The most unique poem i've read thus far.... thats a good thing though... you get major points for originality :)