Hmm this isn't one of your best pieces. The repitition doesn't flow well and how you rhymed and then didn't, I don't know I didn't like that. But I like how you will write no matter what people think. =) Good for you.

Keep It up!
"Never Let It Go"

Well i liked that...because it was pretty simple but it showed your passion for writing. Take care,
Satuxxa