Comments : I will fight for you...

  • 19 years ago

    by Jomar Bautista

    It was nice although short it really tells how one person feels. Great work!!!=)

  • 19 years ago

    by Ironic Allure

    I don't like this one as much as your other poem, few little points that could make your flow a little better:

    'I'm going insane,
    All I feel is pain,
    This is no longer a game,
    My heart is to blame.'

    Try..

    'I'm going insane,
    All I feel is pain,
    No longer a game,
    My heart is to blame.'

    And..

    'I'm stuck on you like glue,
    Look what it's come to,
    Whatever you do,
    I'll fight for you,
    I will fight for you.'

    Try..

    'Stuck to you like glue,
    Look what it's come to,
    Whatever you do,
    I'll fight for you,
    I will fight for you.'

    ..Apart from those teeny weeny things, I think It's lovely. Short and sweet.

    Well done, take care of yourself.
    All my love,
    Laura.