Comments : Skittles Racism

  • 19 years ago

    by pinkalias

    I really liked the main idea that you had and the symbols you used relating the the "taste the rainbow" slogan. However, you poem didn't really flow. I think you need to work on the format because the rhythm seems to be nonexisting or just all over the place.
    I did enjoy these lines,
    "Discrimination
    The word tastes like bitter espresso
    On my tongue"
    But I think a better way to have written it would be perhaps,
    "the word tastes like
    bitter espresso on my tounge"
    I see what you were trying to do, but it didn't quite flow.
    I also admired the last two lines,
    "That we all come from the same
    Rainbow"
    that was a meaningful and conclusive way to end the poem.
    overall, well done

  • 19 years ago

    by ~:.GodeSsOfTemPtati0n.:~

    i liked this one... =) very interesting.... keep writing =)
    hope u pass by mine =) votes and comments much appreciated...
    much love
    letishia